I Don't Believe In Love

I don't believe in love.

I believe in greater and lesser levels of dislike.

I think when people say, "I love you", they really mean, "I dislike you less than anyone else!"

Does that make me cynical? No, realistic.

I do believe in love, I am just scared that I won't ever feel it.

If I never feel love, I think that it will be entirely and 100 percent my own fault.

Why?

I use sarcasm and meanness to cover up how vulnerable I am.

What's worse? No one sees through my shit.

I just want someone to shake me and scream, "I don't believe that you don't cry and don't feel, cry, damn it!!"

Because once that happens the dam in my heart will shatter and I can cry 25 years of tears that were never spilled.

So my biggest fear-no one will see through me and break me.